Time to go.

So, the Army finally got there heads out of there arses this last week. They finally cleared my medical paperwork. I am now required to pass a physical and then from there, I just need to take the ASVAB and pick my job and see when I can leave. I have not ever been 100% on doing this, but it appears to be one of my best and only options right now. I've been praying for a long time for some guidance that I either fail to see or am not getting. So I pray for something else to come up that can fix my situation, if not then to the Army I go.
I think about leaving and it makes me sad but at the same time, I don't really feel like I'd be leaving much behind. That may seem harsh but its the truth. I have nothing to keep me here. I see my friends and church family 1-2 times a week. Some of them a 3rd if I'm really lucky. Everybody I know gets to hang out and then and go back to their families. I get to go back to my empty house.
Today its Halloween and if this weekend is any indication of how the next few months are going to go, I'm going to lose my mind. It took everything I had not to flip out on rude, inconsiderate people and get myself fired these last couple days. Everybody I know was spending time together or with there families. I was working, and that's how it goes, that's pretty much how its always gone with this job.
I'm going to attempt to get a couple extra weekdays off sometime in the next couple weeks to get this physical done. I'm going to try to finally get this all taken care of. I'm still not sure what to pray for but I'm still praying. I just know that the next two months aren't going to be any easier than this weekend was with work or anything else.

15 days...

15 days until Halloween. 15 Days till the Holiday season from the end of October through the beginning of the new year starts. Its that time when everyone's families get together and spend time with each other, growing closer and catching up on what they have missed.
This is not what I experience.
I've been working in the movie theatre business for 10 years, which is probably 9-10 too long. I have never understood all the families coming to the movies on the holidays instead of spending time at home, but they do. This two month chunk of the year is not much fun for me. I have to work a lot and see all these families together and realize I can't have it. All of my family live far away and they can't afford to come here, and I can't go there unless I want to come home jobless.
I am at work on the Holidays and alone on the days before and after. I miss my family. I have a niece I have only seen once and a nephew on the way that I don't know when I will ever meet. Ive seen my sister once in the last 3 years. And I have seen my parents an average of once a year for the last 3. All the holidays remind me of is how alone I am.
This year is going to be the worse one yet. I really don't want want Christmas to come, I don't know how I am going to deal with it
I wish I could just go to sleep right now and wake up in January 2nd.